She's Just Not That Into You if you flirt and she responds with a blank stare.

You've been there. You're trying to get that certain someone's attention, and they respond with the dreaded blank stare.

"Did she not hear me? Is she lost in thought about something else?" you may wonder. And that may be the case.

But it also may mean she is just not that into you.

Flirting. Everyone does it, even if it is unintentional. Some forms are obvious, others a bit more sly. But the girl who is not into you will pick up on it, and either respond with mild (or great) disgust, or not respond at all.

You see, if you are attempting to get a girl's attention, and she likes you, you won't have to try very hard. You see, if she is into you, she will be trying to get your attention to some degree more than likely as well.

*A brief side note: This works the same in reverse. Girls, if you are trying to get a guy to notice you and he is not responding, he is just not that into you. Stop wasting your time and energy...

So as for flirting, it can come in various forms: (adapted from the fantastic resource known as wikipedia)

• Eye contact, batting eyelashes, winking, etc.

Guys, as stated before, if she is avoiding eye contact she's just not that into you.

• Casual touches; such as a woman gently touching a man's arm during conversation

This can also have a broader scope to include personal space. If you get closer to her (now don't be a creeper) such as sitting near her or standing nearby, and she does not acknowledge your presence, or seems disturbed by it, she's just not that into you.

• Smiling suggestively

or un-suggestively. If you smile, and she returns a blank stare, well, you can figure out what that means. Unless she is a really mean person (who is someone I would hope you aren't into anyway) then she will smile in response just to be polite. When that doesn't happen, there is typically a good reason why, and it may include her not feeling comfortable with you liking her because she doesn't reciprocate the feelings.

• Sending notes, poems, or small gifts

Includes texting, emails, etc. If she doesn't respond, especially in a timely manner, she's just not that into you. When a girl is interested, she will jump on the chance to communicate with you. How else is she gonna know if you are worth her time?

• Flattery

Don't go over the top with compliments if you haven't earned the right to. Although girls like being told they are pretty, smart, funny, etc, if someone random tells them these things they will find it odd. And maybe a little creepy. After all, if you don't really know her, how would you know those things about her. (Aside from her obvious beauty.) But still, to just randomly tell a girl she is pretty, especially if there have been red flags that she is not that into you will make for a very uncomfortable situation for the both of you.

• Online chat is a common modern tactic, as well as other one-on-one and direct messaging services

Boys, listen up. We are in an age of modern communication where facebook chat and other online chatting seems to be a good way to communicate. Well, watch yourselves. Because the other person may be reading what you are typing in a totally different way than you intended, or (heaven forbid) even letting a friend sitting next to her read it and tell her how to respond so as not to offended you or lead you on. And if she isn't really keen to talking to you in person, online chat may not be such a good idea.

If you aren't talking in person, don't start up a relationship (or try to) via chatting. And don't try to be all flirty when you do. It often comes across as rude or weird. And then that girl who wasn't into you in the first place (hence why you aren't talking in person) will be even more awkward around you, and will be that much less into you.

She's Just Not That Into You if she isn't paying attention to you.

If a guy likes a girl, typically he is gonna try to spend time with her. Makes sense.

But what if she doesn't want to spend time with him?

It happens.

So here's the deal guys. If you are trying your hardest to hang out with a girl that you think is pretty cool, but she is not reciprocating, she is probably just not that into you. That includes her not focusing on you in a group setting, not responding to you when you make witty jokes, or just flat out not making eye contact with you.

A girl likes to be noticed. She likes to be made to feel special. To feel beautiful. But not by everyone.

There is no reason why we like certain people better than others. No formula to figure people out. Sometimes though, as much as a girl likes to be noticed, she just doesn't want to be noticed by that other person.

And when she doesn't want to be noticed, she doesn't pay attention. So when it seems like she is ignoring you, it means she's just not that into you.

And since we are on the brink of this subject, let's just jump right into the thought that girls play hard to get.

That is just stupid.

Most girls will at least treat you like a friend if they are even thinking that they might be interested in you. (Not avoid you to make you like them more).

Now wait, stop getting your hopes up that the girl you like treats you politely and therefore she is into you... We'll cover that later. For now, go back and re-read the first part of this, and honestly think if she is trying to make an effort to be nice to you or get to know you. Not sure? Then she probably isn't.

And to reiterate: she isn't playing hard to get. That really is not a common occurrence.

And if she is, then she is working under the assumption that she can manipulate a guy to feel the way that she wants. And what guys wants to begin a relationship with anyone based on manipulation?

He's Just Not That Into You

Ok, I'm not often the one to jump onto a bandwagon of popularity.

A few years ago I remember watching Oprah (before I had learned the error in my ways) and saw an episode with Greg Behrendt, a comedian and co-author of the book He's Just Not That Into You.

Well, I was mildly entertained by the show, but didn't really think of it again.

Then, with the recent movie made from the popular book, the He's Just Not That Into You phenomenon seems to be gaining popularity again.

Last weekend I decided that I would pick up the book and see if it was all it is cracked up to be. (Since I skipped out on going to the movie with a bunch of my friends, I figured that would be the best way to be more in the know. Or something.).

Well, it was entertaining in parts, and really had some good points. It also had a lot to say that I really didn't agree with, and even parts I skipped all together.

But what kept going through my mind was, so do guys realize that sometimes She's Just Not That Into You? I know, they can't write that as a self help book, cause no guy wants to go pick up a self help book (or so they say). But shouldn't that info be out there still?

So after consulting with a good friend of mine, I've come up with a lot of different scenarios that may just show how NOT into you she may be. So stay tuned and read on to find out.

My TV Untangled...

Alright. this is where I stand in my current TV obsessions:

Heroes: bored to tears this week. They really have to get back on track

Biggest Loser: glad Joelle is gone, sad about the whole Dane and Blaine break-up, not too sure who I'm rooting for yet. Prob just one of Jillian's players as usual.

Scrubs: a week behind, but happy for the JD/Elliot of it all

SURVIVOR: STARTS TOMORROW! WOO HOO! :D

Grey's: I think the show is starting to get back to what made it good... if only they'd loose the Callie story line... and maybe the whole insane Izzy thing

Private Practice: interested to see where the crossover will lead them

LOST: keeping me pretty much intrigued. Never watched it? Or just love it? See below an incredibly hilarious breakdown of this weeks episode...



The action heroes really do make it amazing!

Multi-tasking

So it seems like my life never really slows down. As insanely busy as I am, I decided to take one of my monthly (or so) disappearing days today, and just not talk to anyone or do much of anything that didn't have to be done.

And it seems I have come across a great deal of wisdom today as I have begun to catch up on my favorite tv shows online, and watch too much You Tube and Hulu. So, I thought I'd share a little bit of greatness that I learned. Make sure you watch all the way to the end to really get the full message... it is very moving. Thank you Tina Fey.