(What is) Love?

I couple months ago I bought some new cds. This new purchase was mainly inspired by getting more into Zumba, and discovering some new artists I like. And finding a NKOTB cd. But that's a different story.

On of the cds I picked up was Jennifer Lopez's new cd (What is) Love?. Honestly I didn't think I would like it as much as I did.

A few songs into the album I found myself identifying with the music on a much deeper level than just liking the beat though. (Yeah, that surprised me a lot too.) I got to the title track, and was stunned.

Single girls listen up. Read the lyrics below and tell me you haven't wondered the same things at some point, probably in the past week:

What if I never find, and I'm left behind?
Should I keep hoping for love?
What If I'm still the same, status doesn't change?
Gotta keep hoping for love

I feel like in some ways I've made a pretty good career out of being the single girl. I've been doing it a long time, and I'm pretty good at it. But still there is something inside me that longs for more.

God created all humans with desire, and emotion. He created things that would bring us joy. But ultimately He wants to fulfill our deepest desires Himself. And that's where this all gets so incredibly hard.

The typical single girl might just head out to the clubs, find some guy that she has a moderate amount of chemistry with, and that's that. But I just can't do it.

I have the desires to be loved, cherished, taken care of, just like every girl. These desires go deep. But have this desire that goes deeper: I want to have God at the center of my being, not just some guy.

I don't think that a super close relationship with God and having a guy are mutually exclusive or anything. In fact I have seen evidence that proves they aren't. I'm just not willing to settle for someone that won't keep me moving forward in my relationship with God. I won't settle for someone who thinks he needs to be placed before my God.

I so badly want to trust God and His timing in all this. I mean, after all, He has proved Himself faithful to me time and time again. But for some reason I struggle with this more than just about anything else. I think that I'm trusting God with it, but in reality those are probably just the days that this desire doesn't make it to the forefront of my mind for some reason.

And still I'm left wondering, what if JLo was onto something? What if I never find someone? What if my status doesn't change? But the question for me then changes from, "Will I keep hoping for love?" to, "Will I trust that God's taking care of me regardless?"

Why do we question?

Recently I've noticed loads of people questioning all kinds of things about Christianity. It probably stems from the people who are arguing for or against things like the views presented in Rob Bell's latest book, and the concepts of the nature of God as just and loving. But even before his latest book, before this division amongst people who used to say they agreed on things, I had noticed a growing trend amongst people I know.

The trend of questioning for the sake of proving God is or isn't right, coming to the conclusion that we can't ever truly know anything about God. This view is growing in popularity, but I think it is just a lazy way to get out of working at our relationship with God.

I'm not one to downplay questioning. In fact, by nature I am pretty cynical. I question things I don't understand, things I think are wrong, things that frustrate me. Sometimes I question just for the sake of questioning, because that's the type of person I am.

When I was a teenager I attended a church that had some extreme views on certain subjects. I was the kid who would sit down with my youth leaders and ask them, "Why?". Why do we do things this way? Why do we believe this? Why in the world do we trust that kind of teaching? You know, the questions every leader loves to hear from an obnoxious 17 year old.

In that season I was being taught some things that were outright wrong when when compared to what the Bible teaches. And something in me made me question those things. In questioning, I learned more truth, and got closer to God than I was before.

My results, a greater understanding and a deeper relationship with my God, stemmed from my questioning.

But here I sit, frustrated with people who are questioning certain basic tenants of faith. The people who are asking if God could really ever condemn anyone to hell, or judge anyone justly if He really is a loving God. Or the people who have questioned things to such an extent that they don't believe there is any truth to be known.

Today I was reading John Piper's book Think: The Life of the Mind and the Love of God. He hit on this idea of questioning, and I love his perspective.

I have been struggling with this idea of questioning because I love it, and see it as valuable, but am so frustrated by it as well.

In one chapter Piper has a section that questions questioning: Is it good, or even right to question the Bible?

The conclusion he draws is that it is invaluable to question the Bible, it is the way that we truly engage with God's word and begin to have a greater understanding of who He is. Some questioning, however, is not good. And it is way less than productive.

Take the examples of Zachariah and Mary found in Luke. Both were told of a future, miraculous birth. Both questioned what was to happen. Yet the angel was frustrated with Zachariah and not Mary. Why not?

Piper points out that it is the attitude behind the questioning. Zachariah questioned from an attitude of disbelief and distrust; Mary questioned from a lack of understanding but a desire to "get it".

I think that is the difference between the types of questioning that I love and hate. Do we question part of God, His nature, or faith because we are trying to prove Him wrong, to be smart and catch God in a lie? Or do we question because we don't understand and truly want to understand?

Not all questioning is good. It depends on the attitude. Is there a submission to the Word of God and a readiness to obey God when we understand what he wants of us? Is there a willingness to embrace the mysteries of God if something is plan but over our head?
-Piper, Think

I can't say that my questioning always stems from a healthy place. In fact, I find looking back that I often have fallen into the group that questions God from an attitude of pride rather than humility. But I so long for the ability to filter my questioning through a submissive desire to know my God more. To trust Him, and to obey Him regardless of if I understand or even if I agree with His ways.

"Others Focused"

One of the most common themes of Christianity I have heard throughout my life is that we are to be "others focused". You know, living life as Jesus told us to live it. Putting others before ourselves. Loving people, even the ones who are seemingly un-lovable. Doing the "one another" verses that we hear so many times.

I do think all of those things are super important, and a big part of what it means to live like Christ. After all, that is how He told us to live.

But sometimes I wonder if we live in a completely dichotomous world. On the one hand we are seeking to be others focused. To serve them and love them better. And that is good, and something that we all have to work at because it isn't our nature.

But in the rest of life it seems like it isn't that hard to be others focused. In fact, I think we spend most of our time in that state of mind.

We focus on peoples faults. On how they could be doing better. On how they have wronged us. On whether or not they're guilty. On knowing the latest "news" about someone.

In reality, we're really good at being others focused, as long as it makes us feel better about ourselves.

Recently I've noticed this more and more in my own life. I seem to be incredibly adept at picking up on what other people are struggling with, but don't see that often times I'm struggling with the same things or things that are even bigger.

I'm starting to get a little bit more of an understanding of what it means to become less so that God can become greater. Yes, I need to be others focused. But not in the ways that I normally am.

My focus should be on others, making them better than myself, whether that is in serving them, loving them, or simply thinking the best of them. I should be others focused, but not in a way that lifts myself up, but in a way that lifts God up.